Kiss Marry Kill: Sitcom

Jerry Seinfeld, Amy Poehler, Sofía Vergara, Jim Parsons — the faces behind the comfort-watch comedies you quote without thinking. Pick your kiss, marry, kill from the ensembles of Friends, The Office, Parks and Rec, Seinfeld, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and more.

Sitcom is the comfort-food category that turns on you fast. Everyone has a show they've looped a hundred times and a cast they think of as personal friends — which is exactly why being handed three of them and told to choose feels like a small betrayal. It pulls from the network-comedy canon and its streaming-era heirs, so one trio might strand you between a Friend, a Pawnee bureaucrat, and a Nine-Nine detective.

Start a round →See the results

The impossible trio

  • Amy Poehler
  • Nick Offerman
  • Adam Scott

The Parks and Recreation deadlock: the most relentlessly optimistic woman on television and the two men who orbit her. Marry one and you've still got to kill a coworker you'd happily share a JJ's waffle with — somehow that feels illegal.

Who’s in this round

61 people in the Sitcom roster. Three are drawn at random each round.

  • Jerry SeinfeldSeinfeld
  • Julia Louis-DreyfusSeinfeld
  • Jason AlexanderSeinfeld
  • Michael RichardsSeinfeld
  • Courteney CoxFriends
  • Lisa KudrowFriends
  • David SchwimmerFriends
  • Matt LeBlancFriends
  • John KrasinskiThe Office
  • Jenna FischerThe Office
  • Rainn WilsonThe Office
  • Angela KinseyThe Office
  • Mindy KalingThe Office
  • Amy PoehlerParks and Recreation
  • Nick OffermanParks and Recreation
  • Adam ScottParks and Recreation
  • Chris PrattParks and Recreation
  • Aziz AnsariParks and Recreation
  • Rashida JonesParks and Recreation
  • Rob LoweParks and Recreation
  • RettaParks and Recreation
  • Andy SambergBrooklyn Nine-Nine
  • Andre BraugherBrooklyn Nine-Nine
  • Terry CrewsBrooklyn Nine-Nine
  • Melissa FumeroBrooklyn Nine-Nine
  • Stephanie BeatrizBrooklyn Nine-Nine
  • Chelsea PerettiBrooklyn Nine-Nine
  • Jim ParsonsThe Big Bang Theory
  • Johnny GaleckiThe Big Bang Theory
  • Kaley CuocoThe Big Bang Theory
  • Simon HelbergThe Big Bang Theory
  • Mayim BialikThe Big Bang Theory
  • Melissa RauchThe Big Bang Theory
  • Sofía VergaraModern Family
  • Eric StonestreetModern Family
  • Jesse Tyler FergusonModern Family
  • Julie BowenModern Family
  • Josh RadnorHow I Met Your Mother
  • Jason SegelHow I Met Your Mother
  • Alyson HanniganHow I Met Your Mother
  • Cobie SmuldersHow I Met Your Mother
  • Thomas MiddleditchSilicon Valley
  • T.J. MillerSilicon Valley
  • Martin StarrSilicon Valley
  • Kumail NanjianiSilicon Valley
  • Zach WoodsSilicon Valley
  • Josh BrenerSilicon Valley
  • Amanda CrewSilicon Valley
  • Matt RossSilicon Valley
  • Gillian JacobsCommunity
  • Alison BrieCommunity
  • Yvette Nicole BrownCommunity
  • Abbi JacobsonBroad City
  • Ilana GlazerBroad City
  • Hannibal BuressBroad City
  • Arturo CastroBroad City
  • Charlie SheenTwo and a Half Men
  • Jon CryerTwo and a Half Men
  • Ashton KutcherTwo and a Half Men
  • Holland TaylorTwo and a Half Men
  • Phoebe Waller-BridgeFleabag

How to play

  1. Pick a gender pool and the Sitcom category.
  2. Three names from the roster appear. Decide who you’d kiss, marry, and kill.
  3. Share the round with a friend. They make their picks blind — then you both see who agreed and who’s judging.

Sitcom KMK — your questions

Are these the actors or their characters?
The actors — Jerry Seinfeld, not his TV self. Though good luck looking at any of them without hearing the character's voice.
Which shows does the roster pull from?
The big network ensembles and their streaming successors — Friends, Seinfeld, The Office, Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, How I Met Your Mother, Silicon Valley, Community, and more.
What makes a Sitcom round genuinely hard?
A same-show trio. Three castmates from one ensemble force you to break up a TV family you've watched for nine seasons — there's no clean answer, only damage control.

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